From the Beginning

I started this journey as a scared teen mom. I became pregnant at 18 and delivered my amazing son on my 19th birthday. The whole process of pregnancy and delivery were very unfamiliar to me. I didn't really have any friends that had babies that I could bounce ideas off of or even talk about what made me scared. All I knew is that I wanted an all natural birth and I new that I wanted to breastfeed. 

So the amazing day came when I was in labor. It was my 19th birthday and I was visiting my Mom in the hospital. I had no idea I was in labor, my Mom informed me that my contractions were about 4 minutes apart. A few hours later I was admitted to the hospital and instantly hooked up to pitocin. Everything moved very quickly and all I remember was asking for an epidural. Everyone knew I didn't want one but no one encouraged me not to get it. I laid on my back hooked up to all these things and everything just seemed so fast and sudden. Next thing I knew my doctor was there and 15 minutes of coached pushes I had a 7lb 5oz perfect baby boy. I held him for about 20 min. Then he was whisked away. 

i just remember everyone telling he was perfect yet I hadn't seen him in 2 hours. I was so full of anxiety not having my baby right there. Once they finally brought him to me I was informed that if I fell asleep with him in my bed they would take him away to the nursery. Now I had even more anxiety. Then came breastfeeding, it hurt and was awkward, I had no idea if I was doing it right. I never saw a lactation consultant. Oh and they let me go home less then 24 hours after giving birth. It was like giving birth in a drive thru. Thank you come again! 

So about 4 years later I was in school to be a L&D nurse I knew I needed to be apart of this birth process and I knew that there was a huge need for compassion and understanding for moms! I found out that I was having another baby! This time I was adamant that I would do things different. I had chosen a smaller hospital under the care of a midwife. I did more research and was still determined to have a natural delivery. 

Well my baby girl was stubborn. My water broke sometime in the mid afternoon. I went to the hospital thinking that it was going to be a fast labor like my last one. Boy was I wrong. After 12 hours of nothing they decided to give me pitocin to start labor. However now that I think about it never did my midwife encourage me to move around to help jump start my labor. 

Finally my labor was going and I was once again stuck laying in bed hooked up to more machines. My back was hurting so bad that I decided to once again get an epidural. No protest once again from anyone. Another round of couched pushes and my beautiful baby girl was born weighing 7lbs. 

After this I decided there needed to be more women in this field with compassion and understanding. So I looked into becoming a midwife. However I put things on hold to be a mom and help my husband with his career. 

It wasn't until another 4 years when I got pregnant with baby number 3 that I finally realized what my life's calling is. See I was bound and determined to have this baby natural. I wanted it so much. Thank god for the internet cause I stayed up late so many nights reading and watching videos. I searched for the best hospital and best midwife in my area. I informed her at every visit  how bad I wanted this. She was so supportive and encouraging. 

So the faithful day came. My water broke in the middle of the night. I called my midwife and let her know. I paced and paced through my house. I couldn't go back to sleep. So I decided to head to the hospital. I walked the halls, bounced on the ball, squatted, tilted, and everything you could think of to get this labor going. Nothing would stay consistent. We decided that maybe a jump start with pitocin would help. After 8 hours of inconsistent contractions they took me off of it and told me to get some sleep. I felt defeated. I paced and paced the halls trying so hard to get my body to do it. Finally I decided that maybe I just needed sleep. Bright and early in the morning came another round of pitocin. After a few hours of pretty steady contractions the O/B my midwife works under wanted to check my progress. Well he was able to find a second water sack. Once that was broken things were fast and intense. They took me off of the pitocin and had me in the bath. I was surrounded by my kids, my mom, my brother, my husband, and my midwife and nurses... I armed myself with knowledge and I was going to trust my body to give birth to this baby naturally.

Man oh man did I get scared. I lost focus and caved and asked for medicine. I was scared and tired. But this time they didn't give it to me. Instead everyone in the room encouraged me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. They calmed me down and refocused my attention. I was able to embrace my body and pushed my baby out on my own! My 8lb 1.5oz baby boy. No drugs in the water sounded by family and love! 

It was after that birth that I realized what changed. It was the support system. I had surrounded myself with people who knew what I wanted and didnt give up on me. They encouraged me when I needed it and knew when to back off. It was then that I realized what my calling was. I wanted to give that to other moms. I want them to feel that support and love and encouragement they so need during the most vulnerable time in their lives. 

So I set out and decided to become a doula! I just attended my first birth and it was awe inspiring. It was total conformation that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing! 

Thanks for reading until next week......